“I Don’t Wrestle. I Kill.”: An Interview with LuFisto

Photo Credit: Raul Valadez

 

There was this wrestling simulator called Extreme Warfare Revenge.

For those the tendrils shameful nostalgia has not deftly swept into the pit of remorse, it was a game where you took control of a wrestling promotion, booked shows, and competed with other promotions for TV deals and the best talent (who were all digital versions of active wrestlers with varying degrees of authenticity regarding their stats).

LuFisto is, without a doubt, a pillar of women’s wrestling in her own right. She’s won numerous titles and wrestled all over the world; it’s the first time I’ve finally gotten a chance to speak to someone who won a championship in a ring of my own fiction.

I can’t recommend telling your idols “I once booked you to beat Rob Conway in a steel cage for my World Title”, but it’s worked for me.

lufisto intro

All right, let’s start off with some basics — white, dark, or milk chocolate? Should suplex be pronounced “sou-plex” or “sou-play”? Tacos or burritos? Is it better to defeat your opponent by pin or make them submit?

Milk chocolate… Sou-plex…and tacos, but with soft shells!!

I like pin fall—I drop them on their neck with a good old Burning Hammer and that’s it!

What’s your favorite city to travel to, just in terms of food? What do you eat when you’re there?

Sorel, Quebec—Mommy’s food. Everything she cooks is great. Lasagna, soups, steaks… all marvelous! :)

I know it’s somewhat cliche for a woman to ask another woman about self-care, but then again you’re the only woman I’ve posed the question to who can list “barbed wire and smashed up light bulbs” as a workplace condition. So, if you’ll forgive me: what self-care do you do to stay in emotional and physical fighting shape?

I train 5-6 times a week. My program changes from time to time as I’m always trying new stuff. For emotional shape, I try to relax as much as I can in front of the fireplace with candles.

Music is my greatest escape, especially heavy metal. It was my first love and I can’t live without it. I also enjoy listening to jazz and blues music. It heals the soul, at least some a little bit.

What’s the saddest meal you’ve eaten on the road? Have you ever had to cook something with the iron that comes with your hotel room?

Never cooked with an iron, but I would say that packs of tuna are the most common thing I eat on the road.

Rice cakes, peanut butter, protein bars and shakes—nothing fancy indeed.

Tell me about a food from your childhood. Something that takes you back. Is it something you cook for yourself now? Does it to compare to how you remember it tasting when you were younger?

Spaghetti with tomato soup used to be my thing. My grandma was so sick making the same meal all the time. Sometimes, I would add cheese or put the spaghetti on a piece of bread and eat it that was. Today, I’m gluten intolerant so that would be a terrible combination. I still eat pasta but they have to be gluten free and I avoid combining it with bread.

Have you ever been caught by a fan having lunch or coffee with a hated in-ring rival?

Might have happened. My biggest enemies are often the people I respect the most.

How do you make sure you’re drinking enough water?

I am not. I’m terrible at it. It is definitely one of my weaknesses when it comes to nutrition.

Okay, so, imagine you’re in a deathmatch, but all the weapons are based on food. You reach under the ring, do you pull out A) an extra-large pizza still in the box, B) a bag of rock candy, all broken up and sharp, or C) a chili pepper to rub in your opponent’s face?

I haven’t been in a death match since 2007, but if I were to be in a food death match, I would probably get the pizza. It would be hot, gooey and sticky so, if I was to throw it in the face of my opponent, they could be blinded and disgusted at the same timw—then Burning Hammer on the head! Then I would eat a slice!

What if you were in a cage match but the cage was made of candy? Wouldyou try to escape by eating your way out of it or save it for later as a post-match snack?

I’m pretty sure there would be a problem if my opponent would try to whip me into it. It would break into a million pieces. But then I would be outside—Winner!

We only just got poutine with any sort of reliable quality where I live (Northern California) But I don’t know if it’s good. How can I tell if it’s good?

There are hundreds of different recipes for pourtine in Quebec—I haven’t seen anything here that is worth the original one!

What will be your legacy as the reigning SHINE Champion?

I just want to go out there and destroy whoever is in front of me. I don’t wrestle. I kill. Afflicting pain and having fun doing it is what I’m looking for.

You can find LuFisto on Twitter at @LuFisto. Photo credit for the feature image, taken at the Alternative Wrestling Show, goes to Raul Valadez.

 

Author: Jetta Rae

Founder of Fry Havoc. Can be found on twitter at @jetta_rae

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