You had it all figured out. I’ll just play some Pokemon Go on my way to the vaccine clinic, you thought. I’ll get some exercise and a shot and maybe all the air the planes leave in the sky which definitely aren’t noxious mind-altering chemicals won’t bother me so much, you thought.
Maybe the dose was off. Or you didn’t catch the Hitmonchan when you were supposed to. But now you’re suddenly VERY AWAKE in one of those indoctrination domes they call “baseball stadiums” as the mob of automatons cheer on a select group of sheeple people dressed as CORPORATE EFFIGIES scurrying through some opiatic shitshow of hypnotic mediocrity.
Be not alarmed. This jarring alienation is part of WAKING UP. You are now among the AWAKENED. You will now stand witness to the brutal aloofness of THE SYSTEM.
But our time is limited if we are to contend with the lies that kill and prevent the elites becoming even more elite before it all goes to shit.
Here’s a brief summary of what you need to know to BE INFORMED on THE STRUGGLE.
A mascot race is like the sideshow of a baseball game. A lot of teams—Major and Minor League—have them as part of the home game experience. The mascots are often food products, which allow CORPORATIONS to sate the tabula rasa of the CONSUMERIST SHEEP BRAIN, or famous people, which allows THE POWERS THAT BE to subdue us into a state of perpetual celebrity worship.
The first big mascot race was the Milwaukee Brewers’ Sausage Race , where ethnically stereotyped anthropomorphic sausages race before the bottom of the sixth inning of every home game. This inspired the Pittsburgh Pirates’ Great Pierogi Race. And from there, the entropy of joviality has taken sway—the Washington Nationals have a Presidents Race, the Houston Astros race Taco Bell sauce packets, the Atlanta Braves have power tools, the Florida Marlins have sea animals, and minor league team The Nashville Sounds have Reba McEntire, Johnny Cash, and George Jones.
Many teams, likely the ones whose owners aren’t privy to the Reptilian agenda or whose corresponding cities are accepted collateral in the ensuing civil war and therefore require no brainwashing, just stick to cheap hot dog costumes.
The Illuminati are an omniscient secret organization dedicated to totalitarianism, esotericism, obfuscation of truth, and religious power—conveniently named after an actual secret society formed in 1776 to oppose all of those things. They are lead by women, homosexuals, and non-Christians—conveniently enough, the same people actively oppressed by the world governments they control SO YOU’D NEVER CATCH ON BUT WE ARE WAY TOO CLEVER FOR THEIR TRICKSIES.
They’re everywhere and can do everything—except behind you right now, stopping you from learning about them. The safest place is to be right where you are. Do not engage. Remain indoors.
Those sheeple and their need to socially interact. Doomed. Doomed. Doomed.
You are a splendid mishmash of stardust and idiom summoned into being on a giant rock floating in space. You’re doing your best, either to survive or do right by the other creatures on this flailing biodome. The questions of how and why are sometimes hard to grasp, and those most assured of their answers have little care for the collateral of their guestimates. You’re either complicit in the willful pain of bystanders or you’re an uninformed mouthbreather. It’s not an existence anyone would choose for themselves, if we could choose to be born, and sometimes it’d just be nice to watch some guys in giant asparagus costumes without it becoming the subject of some smug thinkpiece.
Many of the races are overtly branded. Beyond this, they have a somewhat benign function in maintaining a unique atmosphere to home games. Sports are a business; players, coaches, and even owners come and go with the money. Staking your emotional investment to a brand based on a particular employee is defeatist at best, considering that most brands have no problem jettisoning even the most loyal employees when there is an even incremental benefit for doing so. The mascot races and the “team-inspired” cocktails and hot dog garnishes help perpetuate a degree of permanence that facilitate what we desperately seeking jobs on LinkedIn would call “brand loyalty”.
Because the Illuminati is so VAST AND EXPANSIVE BUT ALSO FUNCTIONALLY INVISIBLE, like magic and the appeal of Corbin Bernsen, their aims and methods differ on the political bearings of of the viewer. An Illuminatus is a Jewish Marxist, a Capitalist Mormon, and Beyonce. BY MAKING THEIR FORM IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW, THEY ENSURE WE ARE INCAPABLE OF STOPPING THEM. But outlawing vaccines, subjecting gay people into conversion therapy, and burning the homes of whoever insists on saying “Happy Holidays” seem like universal building blocks. Speak softly and carry a big stick stop people from reading GOVERNMENT LIES ABOUT SO-CALLED “PHYSICS” OF SO-CALLED “JET FUEL”. How could anything at all ever melt if we’re on a floating disc surrounded by an ice wall?
You can learn more about THE WAY THINGS REALLY ARE if you buy my book or subscribe to my podcast. ONLY THEN will you know how the oligarchs are using compulsory participation in a spurious financial system of control to extort and deceive you.
As a failure to succeed in capitalism can lead to homelessness and starvation, and the privileges that come with succeeding will compel you to commit negligence and atrocities that even five-year-olds have a negative empathetic reaction to, there’s likely no such thing as a “rational actor” in economic models. Don’t kid yourself into believing that your comparative success is the result of morally neutral “insight”.
Caricature always carries with it the possibility to malign, oppress, and aggrandize—and the difference between a quaint pastiche and a still-stinging barb may be decades of assimilation. The Italian and German stereotypes of Milwaukee’s sausage race are presented as friendly and well-meaning now, as Italians and Germans have now been retrofitted into “white America” to further insulate the country from the influence of other immigrants and non-white denizens—both groups of immigrants faced discrimination and violence from “white” Americans as they integrated into American society, ironically around the time baseball was really growing roots as a pivot point of American pop culture.
In a time where one of the US Presidential Candidates is running on a platform of mass deportations of brown people, the sombrero-wearing “Chorizo” sausage seems less playful. Ultimately, is it the right of Latinx communities living in the US to determine whether such mascots make them feel unsafe or insulted.
AND WHEN THEY UNLEASH THEIR ARSENAL OF SAFE SPACES AND INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE, AND WHEN YOU ARE SWEPT UP IN THE COMPASSION OF THEIR REFORMATIVE JUSTICE, YOU WILL ASK THE ILLUMINATI TO SAVE YOU AND THE ILLUMINATI WILL SAY “ACK ACK ACK JAI GERU DEVA OM!”
The Powers that Be have scattered upon this realm very real-seeming violations of human self-determination—like the Syrian refugee crisis and police murders of black citizens in the United States—to distract your weak and empathetic heart from what’s really going on.
Ask an AWAKENED brother searching for Bigfoot in Oregon what he thinks of glass ceilings and the high rates of sexual abuse of disabled people. See the euphoria on his face as he sifts through snow looking for Yeti feces. HE KNOWS. AND YOU COULD KNOW TOO. CAST OUT THESE ILLUSIONS OF NON-WHITE MEN HIJACKING YOUR HEART WITH THEIR FACADE OF TROUBLE.
Go to Oregon. Eat some droppings. Bigfoot droppings have a very particular taste. We need all mouths on this.
You (maybe) have a vote. It isn’t enough. You have a social media presence where you espouse your views to whoever will quietly scroll through and click the like button. It is also not enough. Politics is mob rule. You need to join or form a mob to effect change. Think locally. Vote for your school board, for mayors and comptrollers. If you don’t like the two-party system in America, you need to help the alternatives gain footing in local communities. A third party will never take the presidency without having a Senator or Representative in Congress. Do you even know what a comptroller does? Lurk more, post less, get involved.
A home team’s races contribute to the shared mythology of a franchise, it’s fandom, and the community where it dwells. The Washington Nationals’ Presidents Race featured a 7-season losing streak by Teddy Roosevelt. Even something as seemingly superficial as the shared in-joke of a guy in a mascot suit being really bad at doing his thing helps a community develop a distinct identity from others. This brings people together. And encourages them to root for their team to tear another community of people apart.
You may think The Illuminati is a smokescreen to prevent the most privileged in our society from engaging with the systemic violence they are party to—BUT ALL THESE WHITE DUDES HAD SO MUCH PRIVILEGE, THEY’D BE IN THE ILLUMINATI, WOULDN’T THEY?
YEAH, YOU GO BACK TO YOUR SAFE SPACE. TELL WHOEVER RUNS THE PROPAGANDA UNIT AT YOUR LITTLE POD-PERSON GROUP HOME THAT I DIDN’T CATCH THEIR NAME BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERE REALLY NICE WHEN I MET THEM AND IF THEY WEREN’T DOING ANYTHING THIS WEEKEND MAYBE THEY’D LIKE TO COME OVER AND WATCH THE BALL GAME WITH ME? I KNOW IT’S SUDDEN BUT YOU KNOW THE SHAPESHIFTERS ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER ANY MINUTE NOW AND I DON’T WANT TO DIE WITHOUT HAVING TOLD A RELATIVE STRANGER ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE MY DAD’S NEW GIRLFRIEND.
You probably have less ability to change the world than you’d like but, ultimately, more than you realize. The devil’s in the details—whether you run a successful blog accusing rape victims of being Illuminati shills to bring down wealthy men who know there’s no gold in Fort Knox or just wanna run a mascot race once, you will leave small indentations wherever you move that will affect those around you. The puddles you kick converge into another’s monsoons.
Even if you had all the answers, which you probably don’t, because you didn’t even know the Eevee Hack, you will likely never be able to change the world around you to the degree you’d like to. You can let this smallness drive you to be bitter and petty, or encourage you to build bridges with other people to create a world that fits within the middle ground of your collective visions.
Whatever’s fine. Just shut up and let me watch the race in peace.